Gundam Wing Survival Contest
by Dragonfire Gal
Summary: Finally the chaos comes to an end. The G-boys and G-gals are put up to the ultimate challenge--survive in the woods with no modern conveniences!
1. Dfire's Stupid Idea

Note: During a strange leaf-collecting hunt at my school, I was inspired to write this fanfic.  
  
The GW Survival Contest  
Part One: Dfire's Stupid Idea  
  
:::Dfire pops up out of nowhere into fanfiction space:::   
Greetings, Konnichiwa, Bienvenidos, Aloha, etc., etc. fanfiction readers!   
I am Dfire, your humble authoress. I don't own any of Gundam Wing, I'm just a fan who felt like torturing   
the characters in some way.  
  
Heero: What was that?  
  
Dfire: Nothing. ^^ :::She turns to face a large gathering of all the Gundam boys and gals:::   
I suppose you're all wondering why you're here.  
  
Wufei: You're darn right we are! I was in the middle of a training session when you called me up here!  
  
:::Quatre looks around bewilderingly::: Come to think of it, just where is "here."  
  
Dfire: This is fanfic space, where crazed bored anime fans like me can control characters.  
  
Relena: o.O What?  
  
Dfire: Never mind. Now I'll explain why I called you all here.   
After a little experience in the woods by my school I came up with the ingenious idea of   
a survival contest in the wilderness. There will be two groups: girls and guys.   
Each of you will spend two days in the woods with no modern conveniences and connection to civilization whatsoever.   
That means no electricity, no toilets, no refrigerators, no radios, no TV, and no laptops.  
  
Heero: O.O  
  
Hilde: That's cruelty!  
  
Quatre: It isn't right!  
  
Trowa: ...!!  
  
Sally: That's the most stupid idea!  
  
Duo: That's a great idea!  
  
Everyone: O.O  
  
Duo: Well...c'mon think about it! Two days in the woods camping out, hiking, swimming,   
fishing, singing songs under the stars-it sounds like fun.  
  
Wufei: Well I don't think it does! I've been in the wilderness alone with Nataku plenty of times  
-I don't need this pathetic survival test to prove my strength. I refuse to participate.  
  
Dfire: Whichever team wins gets $25,000 in cash divided equally amongst themselves and   
the losers have to be their personal slaves for a week.  
  
Wufei: Well in that case I guess I will participate. :::To the other G-boys:::   
You four weaklings will need my experience and my intelligence to survive this mad woman's game.  
  
Heero: Hmmmm.  
  
:::Quatre whips out a calculator and starts plugging in digits:::   
Then if we win that would be $5,000 for the each of us since there are five of us Gundam pilots.   
That's almost as much as my weekly allowance.  
  
Cathy: Well not all of us own an asteroid mining company, Quatre.   
I'll spend my prize money on a whole new wardrobe and refurnishing my trailer room.  
  
Duo: You're speaking like you're gonna win!  
  
Cathy: And we are!!  
  
Wufei: You weak onnas! We'll win that prize money easily and you'll be serving us men like the women you are!  
  
Dorothy: Is that a challenge?  
  
Dfire: So are we all in this?  
  
G-girls: Yeah!  
  
G-boys except for Heero: Yeah!  
  
Heero: Mission accepted.  
  
Dfire: Okay! :::Whips out a notepad:::   
For the gals' team we have Hilde, Cathy, Relena, Dorothy, and Sally.   
For the guys' we have Duo, Heero, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Now am I forgetting something....  
Oh yeah! We need team captains! Now, who would like to be the girls' team captain?  
  
:::All the girls raise their hands::: I do!! Me! No me!! Me!!  
  
Cathy: Relena, you rule your own kingdom for crying out loud! It wouldn't be fair for you to be team captain.  
  
Relena: Well, I believe that with my personal experience of running a country we can easily win this contest.  
  
Dorothy: Excuse me Miss Relena if I may sound rude but, wasn't you're country destroyed?  
  
Relena: -__-  
  
Trowa: Just because you're the main character doesn't mean you get to be team captain, Heero.  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Wufei: That captain should me. After all I have spent days in the wilderness surviving   
alone with only Nataku to keep me company.  
  
Duo: I don't think we should have a team captain who gives his Gundam a pet name.  
  
Wufei: Look who's talking, the boy who calls himself the god of death!  
  
:::In a scream of rage Duo leaps on top of the Chinese pilot and the two start beating the crap out of each other:::  
  
Quatre: This is wrong you guys. We shouldn't be fighting at all!  
  
Dorothy looks up excitedly: Did somebody say fight?!  
  
Dfire rubs her head because she's starting to get a headache: Okay guys, that's enough.   
I'll have none of that during the survival contest.  
  
Duo: I don't know which will be harder, to survive in the wilderness or to survive being around Wu-man.  
  
Wufei: What did you call me Maxwell?!!  
  
Dfire: Enough!! I think the best captain for the guys' team would be--drum roll please!  
  
The sound of drums.  
  
Dfire: ...Quatre!  
  
Quatre: Me? :D  
  
Dfire: Yes you! And you should be proud-  
  
Duo: Waitaminute! How come Quatre gets be team captain?  
  
Dfire: Uhhhh...because I said so?  
  
Wufei: Injustice!! I demand for a recount.  
  
Dfire: After this past election, Wufei, I believe all of us feel that that technique has been worn out.   
Quatre wins and you will just have to deal with it-no recounts.  
  
Quatre: :D  
  
Wufei mutters: injustice  
  
Dfire: And now for the girls! Hmmmm...I think I know just who would do. Drum roll!  
  
Once again, the mysterious sound of drums.  
  
Dfire: Sally!  
  
Sally: Me?  
  
Dfire: Yes you Miss Po.  
  
Sally excitedly: I get to be the boss?  
  
Dorothy: I refuse to take orders from anyone but myself.  
  
Dfire: Okay then, Dorothy. I guess you'll miss out on the $5,000 if they win.  
  
Dorothy: But of course today is an exception.  
  
Dfire: Good. Okay guys, we have the team captains! Dfire's Gundam Wing Survival Contest begins tomorrow at dawn!   
Now you guys go pack your things and be ready when the sun comes up.  
  
Cathy: We'll be ready--to kick you guys' tails!  
  
Duo: That's what you think. When we win you'll be polishing my Deathscythe with your two hands from top to bottom.  
  
Cathy: You guys will be cleaning out the elephants' cage for me.  
  
G-boys: Eeeewww!!  
  
Well, that's part one of my little Survival Test fic. Please review this!   
It's my very first fanfic ever! If you have any ideas on what you would like to see the G-boys   
and/or G-girls do then go ahead and write to me. I would love to hear what my audience is   
interested in seeing. ^__^ Later!! 


	2. The journey begins!

Well I got some reviews and for all you nice people who read it, I'll continue my story. I don't own Gundam Wing; it belongs to Sunrise, Yoshiyuki Tomino, and all them other people. I also don't own McDonald's and their delicious drools Egg McMuffin, Krispy Kreme, and Chick-fila and their Chicken biscuits...Yummy Sorry, it's morning right now.  
  
Day 1: Today's the big day! Today marks the official beginning of Dfire's GW Survival Contest! Today the two teams will get to their destinations by boat, then by trekking through the treachorous forest. Oooooh! This is gonna be good!!  
  
  
The next morning, when the sun is just peeking over the horizon, the G-boys are still asleep in their rooms snoring and drooling to their heart's content. It's peaceful, it's quiet, it's...  
  
Dfire: TIME TO GO!!  
  
:::Trowa almost falls off his bed as I barge into his room::: Yeeeek!! What are you doing in my room?!  
  
Dfire: Waking you up before you guys fall too far behind.  
  
:::Quatre emerges from his room sleeping rubbing an eye::: Morning Trowa...Morning Dfire...(yawn)...what's going on?  
  
Dfire: You're losing the game already that's what's going on. Part of survival is getting up early and being that "early bird who catches the worm."  
  
Trowa and Quatre: blink blink??  
  
Dfire: What I'm saying is that it's waaaayy past your time to get up and that the g-girls are waiting outside ready to go.  
  
Trowa and Quatre with big anime heads: NANI?!?!  
  
:::Wufei walks in an interesting apparel of lil' panda boxer shorts and matching top::: Can't an elite soldier get some sleep around here? I have to get my beauty sleep you know.  
  
Dfire: You could use some.  
  
Wufei: What did you say?  
  
Dfire: Nothing. I like your nightie set, have one just like it. ^__^  
  
Wufei: Shut your mouth, woman! This is a special edition nightwear made in China, the great motherland!  
  
Dfire (muttering to herelf): Looks more like something from Rave. Okay guys! Let's move it!  
  
:::Trowa starts franticly pulling out clothing from his dresser, while Quatre almost stumbles over him trying to get to his room and take a quick shower:::  
  
Dfire blows on a whistle almost making Wufei's ears explode: Okay you guys! Move it, move it! I'll go wake up the others. Quatre, make sure you scrub real good; you'll need a good shower before you leave...there's no telling when you'll have a chance to take another.  
  
Quatre: What?! O.O  
  
Trowa to himself: What did we get ourselves into?  
  
After a quick fifteen minutes of showering, dressing up, gelling hair, picking knots out of Duo's braid, making iced tea for Quatre, ironing Wufei's funky white pants, and stealing Heero's laptop we finally piled into my deluxe sized mini van and got on that highway just as the sun was coming up.  
  
Dfire: Wow we made it!  
  
Duo: Yippee! We're on our way to camping!  
  
Hilde: Can we stop by McDonald's and get an Egg McMuffin real quick? I'm starved.  
  
Cathy: Who needs McDonalds's when you got Chick-fila and their Chicken biscuits?  
  
Dfire: Sorry guys, but we have to get to Bear Island by seven. Get used to not having those luxury items like greasy artery-clogging fast food, there won't be any for the next three days.  
  
Hilde, eyes jiggling anime style when they're about to cry: You mean sniff no McDonald's?  
  
Heero: What a minute. Yesterday you said the contest would last two days.  
  
Dfire: Ummm..yeah I did--But you see with the time getting there and setting up camp adds up to a lot of hours, so I changed it to three days instead of two. No big deal.  
  
Relena: I think it's a very big deal. I say we discuss this in an organized assembled meeting.  
  
Dfire: Relena, this is not one of your peace missions, this is my ultimate Survival Adventure. :::spots Krispy Kreme around the corner::: Ahhhh! Donoughts! :::Takes a sharp turn causing all ten G-people in the van to tumble on one side of the vehicle in one big heap:::  
  
Quatre: Aaaahhhh! My poor spleen!  
  
****About an hour later****  
  
Dfire: There she is! These are the two ships that will take you to Bear Island, the Atlantic Dream and Starboard. Aren't they beauts?  
  
:::Quatre squints his eyes to take a better look at the available transportion::: Dfire, those "ships" look like a few pieces of plank wood tied together with some fish net string.  
  
Dfire: That's because they are. But hey I'm a teenaged girl; ehere do you expect me to get a cruise ship?  
  
Quatre: I could.  
  
Dfire: I know you could but that's beside the point. But hey! It doesn't matter, this is a survival contest; you're supposed to be roughing it.  
  
Dorothy: You're not making me get on that worthless piece of wood you call a ship. Did you make those yourself?  
  
Dfire: Yes, I did.  
  
Duo: I could do better in less than ten minutes.   
  
Dfire: Okay, so I'm not what you could call a carpenter! Geez, the sacrifices I make for you guys and this is how you treat me?  
  
Relena: It's okay, this will do. Let's just get this thing started already.  
  
Dfire: Okay then, here are the maps. :::Gives one to each team captain, Sally and Quatre. The team members crowd around them to take a look at the maps:::  
  
Cathy: Don't we get maps of the island too?  
  
Dfire: Nope, just this one of the water to help you get to Bear Island.  
  
Cathy: But how will we find our way around the woods.  
  
Dfire: By landmarks and stuff like that, use your instinct! Do you think Louis and Clark used a map to get to the Pacific coast? Did Magellan have a well detailed map of the world?  
  
Sally: No  
  
Dfire: Of course not! Now, the guys will use the Atlantic Dream and the ladies will use the Starboard. From here is where we part, for the next three days you will be alone in the wilderness with no contact to the outside world, no telephone, no raido, alone in a savage land where beasts who prey on unsuspecting victims and pounce...  
  
Quatre: Please stop!  
  
Dfire: Sorry Quatre. Now guys all--what a minute...I almost forgot!  
  
Heero impatiently: Now what?  
  
Dfire: Dfire check! :::pounces onto the g-boys and g-girls small pile of luggage and begins ripping open suitcases and shredding through knapsacks:::  
  
Cathy whispering to Relena: What is she doing?  
  
Relena: I don't know, she's completely insane.  
  
Dfire lifts up a metal item from the pile: Aha!!  
  
G-boys and G-girls: O.o  
  
Dfire: A cell phone!  
  
Relena: That's mine. As foreign minister I need it for whenever a board wants to discuss peace relations.   
  
:::From out of nowhere Dfire pulls out a large mallet::: You won't be needing this.  
  
Relena: No!!  
  
:::With all my strength I swing the mallet down and smash the phone into a million bits and pieces::: There, now that's done. I'll have to search you guys next.  
  
:::Relena picks up the little pieces and clutches them to her chest::: My poor dear cell phone; we've been through many good conversations together, conversations of world peace. I will miss you dearly, my dear dear cell phone.  
  
:::Trowa backs away as I approach him:::   
  
Dfire: Don't worry Trowa, I'm just gonna search you for modern conveniences. :::He still backs away as if I'm a rabid animal:::  
  
Trowa: Keep away from me!  
  
I pounce on him and begin searching through his pockets. I even go through his hair because there's no telling what he could in those bangs of his. Trowa: I've been violated! :::Then I search through the others and everything's clear until I get to Heero:::  
  
Dfire: What is this? :::Pulls out a gun:::  
  
Heero: That's mine.  
  
Dfire: Trying to bring weapons into the peaceful wildernuss, huh? You should be ashamed.  
  
Duo: We could use it for hunting.  
  
Dfire: Not guns! Use bows and arrows, rocks, anything but not guns.  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
:::Dfire continues her search and runs into another gun. She pulls it out and finds another then another::: How many of these do you have?  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Dfire: Okay, Duo and Trowa, help me out here.  
  
:::The two G-boys pick Heero up and shake him upside down. One gun falls out, two, three, four more, soon there's a whole pile of guns on the floor:::  
  
Duo: So that's where you keep those things!  
  
Dfire: Okay now that's done so I guess it's time for you to start your journey. While you're there I suggest you all keep journals, it's what all the explorers and travelerpeople do. Now get on those ships, er... rafts.  
  
They all pile onto the ships and Quatre does his job and gives out orders. :::Alright men! Release the sails!:::  
  
Trowa: There are no sails.  
  
Wufei: Yeah! Just this stupid flimsy little piece of cloth.  
  
Dfire: That 'flimsy little piece of cloth' happens to be my mom's best tablecloth. It was the only piece of cloth I could find that could be used as a sail.  
  
Hilde: Where's the oars? We don't have any oars.  
  
Dfire: You guys don't have any.  
  
Duo: How are we supposed to move then?  
  
Dfire: Er, your hands I guess.  
  
Dorothy: I refuse to put my hands in that water and paddle like a dog.  
  
Dfire: Okay then, Miss Dorothy, use your eyebrows to paddle.  
  
Dorothy: Why you...! (oof) :::Before she can clobber me Cathy releases the "sail" which was actually my old baby blanket with cute little bunnies and squirrels on it:::  
  
Sally: O.o  
  
Quatre: Oh, look at the cute widdle bunnies!!  
  
:::Wufei starts paddling with his hands muttering something about stupid women and injustice. The other g-boys join paddling furiously since the g-girls are slightly ahead:::  
  
Dfire: And away you go! Bye! Bon voyage! Get along, think straight and you might survive. I wish you guys the best of luck. (muttering to herself) You're gonna need it.  
  
Duo: I have a bad feeling about this.  
  
Heero: Hmmmm  
  
That was part two of the Survival Contest and the journey has finally begun! So what dangers lie ahead for our brave adventurers? There's no telling! 


	3. Legend of Bear Island: The Curse of Pink...

Gw Survival Contest--Part Three  
The Curse of Bear Island  
  
I'm back! I'd like to say thank you to everyone who reviewed this fic. I'm glad you like it and since you do, I'll keep writing more. Once again, I don't own Gundam Wing, I'm just an American teenager with nothing better to do but write this fic. It seems to be coming out good. I also don't own Poptarts or Pizza Hut. Well, read on!  
  
Day One (7:35 a.m.)  
  
And they're off! The G-boys and G-girls are now more than half-way to Bear Island which means they've been doing a lot of paddling by now. Hee Hee ^__^  
  
Relena: Can we stop just for a minute? My arms are getting tired.  
  
Sally: Awwww..is the poor little princess scared of the water? Do you want that old fart Pagan to help you out? No you can't, the guys are right on our tails and we need to get there first to set up camp.  
  
Relena: This is a survival contest not a race, Miss Po.  
  
Sally: For that young miss you owe me ten thousand pushups!! Now keep paddling!  
  
Hilde to Cathy and Dorothy: Those twisty tails Sally's head are finally messing with her brain.  
  
Sally: You three, stop talking and start paddling!  
  
***Meanwhile, the g-boys are working hard to catchup. Heero's still mad that his gun supply was stolen, Quatre is complaining about fingers getting wrinkly because of the water, Trowa is looking a little green, Duo is chattering happily along like always, and Wufei is...being Wufei.***  
  
Wufei: This is injustice! INJUSTICE! Imagine, elite Gundam pilots such as ourselves paddling water like worthless canines!  
  
Quatre: Don't worry Wufei, we're almost there. Look you can see the island already.  
  
Duo: You don't think Dfire didn't supply us with oars on purpose do you?  
  
Quatre: Duo, Dfire would never do that!  
  
Wufei: Hmph! It wouldn't surprise me; that woman is just as crafty and evil as all the other females in this universe.  
  
Duo: Well, I'll be glad when this is all over and we win that prize money. I'll spend all that good green on something real nice. ***Starts dreaming of buying a mansion in Miami and dating Brittany Spears***  
  
Heero: You really think we're going to win don't you Duo?  
  
Duo: Well, Heero. Like I always say, you always gotta look at things in a positive way.  
  
Wufei: And how praytell can you see this nightmare of a contest positive?  
  
Duo: Just imagine what you'll do with all the prize money.  
  
Heero: Hmmmmm... ***Image of Relena on a rocket ship to the moon pops up in his head***  
  
Quatre: Hey guys! We're ready to dock--and look, we beat the girls.  
  
Duo: Looks like they're going off to their campsite.  
  
Quatre: Oh my Alah! Trowa, you look like Heero's shirt!  
  
***Sure enough the poor circus clown Trowa's face is looking a sickly green***  
  
Heero: He's seasick.  
  
Quatre: Trowa, do you need a bucket? I'll get you a bucket!  
  
Wufei: He can just throw up in the water.  
  
Trowa: Gghhhgh..Ghhg...   
  
***Spews all over an unlucky Chinese guy***  
  
Wufei: Gahhh! My white pants! My beautiful pants!!!  
  
***After they reached the shore and Wufei changed, the G-boys prepared the campsite. After that they began to hear eachother's bellies crying out for food and decided that it was time to get some breakfast.***  
  
Quatre: I packed a few things we'll need. They're in that knapsack over there.  
  
Duo: Great, I'll have a Poptart.  
  
Quatre: Uh, Duo, we don't have any Poptarts.  
  
Heero: Duo, don't you remember? We're supposed to be roughing it.  
  
Duo: Oh yeah, I forgot. Well then what do we eat?  
  
Wufei: We eat stuff from the forest of course. There's plenty of animals and berries-  
  
Duo: Berries?! Let's go!  
  
***And so the G-boys begin to trek through the forest in search of game***  
  
Duo: So, what type of animals do they have on this island?  
  
Heero: According to the data I collected last night, mostly small mammals make up the population of this place.  
  
Duo: And what mammals would those be?  
  
Heero: rabbits, opposums, squirrels, woodchucks, beavers, foxes, bears-  
  
Duo: Bears?! O.O Hold on! I thought you said there were only small mammals on this island.  
  
Heero: I said mostly. This is Bear Island you know.  
  
Quatre: So we're going to eat those poor innocent animals? That's so sad.  
  
Trowa: Quatre, do you like to eat chicken nuggets?  
  
Quatre: Yes, I love them.  
  
Trowa: Then you've eaten many poor innocent chickens.  
  
:::Quatre runs away screaming::: Waaaaah! The poor little chick-chicks!  
  
G-boys: O.o  
  
Duo: And to think that he's our team captain.  
  
Heero: I fear for us all.  
  
Duo: Where's Wu-man?  
  
Heero: He went to go hunt on his own.  
  
Duo: That's Wufei for you, always the solitary one.  
  
:::Suddenly, the three hear Quatre calling them: Hey guys! Look what I found!  
  
Duo speeds through the forest ready to gobble up whatever the blond Arab found: Is it food?  
  
The three make it to where Quatre is at. He's by a hollow log holding up a small black and white furry animal cuddling it as if it were a plush doll.  
  
Quatre: Look you guys. Isn't he the cutest thing? ^^  
  
The three pilots' eyes bug out when they recognize the white stripe down the animal's body.  
  
Heero nervously: Quatre...put that thing down.  
  
Trowa:....!  
  
Duo: That's a skunk, Q-man!  
  
Quatre: I think I'll keep him and name him Fluffy.  
  
:::Suddenly, the animal dangerously lifted it's tail:::  
  
Duo: Run for it!!!  
  
****Uh *ahem* on another part of the island the girl's have finished building their campsite. Now they are munching on squirrel on a stick, all except for Dorothy.***  
  
Hilde: I can't believe we're eating something that just half an hour ago was chittering and jumping through trees.  
  
***She notices Sally giving her death-threating glare***  
  
Hilde: Uh--b-but it's really good! See?   
***Tears into her squirrel*** MMMMMMM-Yum...O.o ***Suddenly springs up and runs off to the woods***  
  
Cathy: You want some Dorothy? ***slides a squirrel under Dorothy's nose***  
  
Dorothy: Umm...I'm a vegetarian. I'll just have berries.  
  
:::Relena bites into her squirrel::: Blech! It tastes horrible!  
  
Sally: You'll eat your squirrel and like it. Back in the guerrila camps we ate everything from squirrel, turtles, rats, occassional crickets...  
  
Relena  
  
Cathy: I wonder what the guys are doing right now.  
  
Sally: I bet you they're not doing as well as we are; with my experience in camping and knowledge of the woods, we'll definitely win.  
  
Dorothy: I certainly hope we win. It would show those Gundam pilots what women are capable of. It will prove to them we can do things just as good or even better than them! We will defeat those worthless G-boys and claim victory even if it takes us to the bitter end. Ah, this battle of human survival vs. the dark wilderness thrills me. Oh, I hope there will be bloodshed.  
  
***Long silence***  
  
Sally: Okay, um, why don't we tell stories. I got a good one. Have any of you heard the curse of Bear Island which just so happens to be the same island that we're on? Isn't that something?  
  
Dorothy almost choked on a berry and Sally had to save her with the Heimlech maneuver.  
  
Cathy: Ugh, I think I just ate a squirrel eye.  
  
***Hours pass and it's now nightime as the g-boys sit down for dinner around the campfire***  
  
Duo: No! I refuse to eat something that's staring back at me!  
  
Trowa: But Duo, it's all we have.  
  
Duo: I want Pizza Hut darn it!  
  
Wufei: Listen Maxwell. I caught this rabbit with my own barehands, something you weaklings couldn't do. I was the only one who brought back food to the camp.  
  
Duo: Well we had a little run in with a skunk this morning so you can't blame us for not bringing anything, oh great Mr. rabbit hunter.  
  
:::Quatre is flood crying over his plate, sogging his grilled rabbit::: Oh, the poor little bunny rabbit.  
  
:::Heero emerges from the nearby lake since he had just finished scrubbing himself for the tenth time that day:::  
  
Duo: Hey Heero! Did you finally get that skunk smell off?  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Duo: I'll take that as a yes. Why don't we tell ghost stories?  
  
:::Wufei, who was at the time standing with his arms crossed by the tent away from the campfire, grumbled as he sat down on a rock by the campfire::: This is foolishness.  
  
Duo: If you don't want to participate, Wu-man, then you don't have to.  
  
Wufei: I've got nothing better to do so I will. And don't ever call me Wu-man.  
  
Duo: So does anyone have a story to tell?  
  
Heero: I do.  
  
Duo: You do Hee-man? Tell it to us.  
  
Heero: Well, it's a story I heard years ago when I was just a young boy. Many years ago, there was a band of pirates that had just finished plundering a ship off the coast of Jamaica. They were on their way to their final destination, when an approaching storm forced them to stop here on this island. While they were they decided to bring out their giant chests of gold and start counting their riches. But like many pirate bands, they were never able to spend their money and their treasure still lies somewhere deep within the earth of the island.  
  
Duo: You mean there's gold on this island!  
  
:::Heero nods his head:::  
  
Duo: Whoopee!! Can you imagine how filty rich we'll be if we find that money?  
  
Trowa: $.$  
  
Heero: It's not that easy Duo.  
  
Duo: Whaddya mean?  
  
Heero: Legend has it that the pirate crew got greedy and turned against their captain, Pinkbeard.  
  
Quatre: Pinkbeard?  
  
Heero: Yes, he had a pink beard.  
  
Quatre: Naturally?  
  
Heero: Yes.  
  
Quatre: Oh...  
  
Heero: Anyway, the crew got greedy and they murdered their captain just to keep the treasure for themselves. They planned to leave the island the next day with the treasure in their hands. But that never happened.  
  
Duo: What happened?  
  
Heero: That night as the pirates slept, they heard a bloodcurdling cry from one of the crew member's tents. They quickly ran to it but when they got there all they found was the crew member's nose on his pillow and a cryptic message scribbled across the tent.  
  
:::Duo and Quatre were quivering on the hollow log:::  
Quatre: W-w-what did it say?  
  
Heero: It said, "You all will die by dawn."  
  
:::Trowa is now looking around nervously:::  
  
Heero: That night was a night of death. That night, one by one, the crew members fell to the ghostly hands of Pinkbeard; no bodies were left behind, only the noses of his victims marked the place of their death.  
  
Heero: And they say that every night the ghost of Pinkbeard still roams the place, protecting his treasure and destroying all visitors who step foot on the island. So be careful and watch where you step, or...  
:::Suddenly, whips out a flashlight and lights it under his face, making it look all scary:::  
YOU WILL BECOME ANOTHER VICTIM OF PINKBEARD THE PIRATE!  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
:::Duo and Heero clutch eachother and scream bloody murder. Even Trowa lets out a pretty loud yelp and jumps into Wufei's lap:::  
  
Wufei: Get off of me!  
  
:::Heero suddenly grows serious again and clicks off the flashlight:::  
And that is my story.  
  
Duo: P-p-pi-pinkbeard!  
  
Quatre: I-I-I don't w-w-want m-m-my n-nose to come off!  
  
Wufei: Ooohhh..Pinkbeard the Nosechopping Ghost Pirate, I'm sooo scared! You fools, that's a story that could only scare weaklings.  
  
:::Heero walks away to his tent:::  
I'm going to bed now.  
  
Wufei: Hmph, foolishness--  
  
:::A loud screeching sound of an owl breaks through the silence and Wufei disappears into his tent:::  
  
I'm finally done with part three. I can see this humor fic turning into a humor/horror fic. Well, review and I'll keep on writing. ^__^ Ja ne! 


	4. Pinkbeard Attacks!!

Hello again peoples! In the last part of this fic someone pointed at that Heero had a flashlight with him, which is a modern appliance. This was a little mistake I made, I guess I got carried away with the story Heero was telling and I thought of how funny it would be for him to use it. Let's just say that he somehow got it through my inspection. He must have somehow put it in his mysterious "spandex space" or strapped it to himself real good.  
  
*******By the way, I've been getting only one or two reviews a day. One or two!! The reviews for me aren't for just letting me know why you like it or you don't; but it also shows me that someone is reading my fic. I don't care if you write a short little sentence but I would like to hear something from you readers out there. C'mon just a minute of your time to send me a review is all I ask for***** putting on my big goo-goo eyed begging face  
  
  
The GW Survival Contest Part Four:  
Pinkbeard Strikes!!  
  
Day Two (7:30 a.m.):  
Heero reporting. This is my second entry since we made it to our destination. The status of the camp's morality seems to be moderate but somewhat unlevel. I would prefer to keep these journal entries in my laptop but since that censor censor Dfire took it from me, I am limited to this primitive college ruled notebook that Quatre provided me.  
This morning Quatre and Trowa have gone fishing while Wufei, Duo, and I stay and watch over camp...from what, is beyond me. I will stop here since I hear Quatre calling, he and Trowa must have returned just now.  
  
Heero Yuy  
  
Quatre: Heeeeeeeeroooooooo!  
  
Duo *walks out of his tent with his hands covering his ears*  
Man Quatre! For a moment there I thought you were Relena.  
  
Quatre: You guys, something terrible has happened!!  
  
Wufei: What happened this time? You were cuddling a shark and it ate Trowa?  
  
Quatre: No! Even worse than that!  
  
Duo: A crazed fan girl took him away?  
  
Quatre: Much much worse than that. Trowa was kidnapped!!  
  
Duo: Kidnapped?!  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Wufei: By whom?  
  
Quatre: I don't know! I turned my back on him for one second and the next thing I knew he was gone! I'm so worried! Who do you think would have done such a thing?  
  
Duo: Only one person could have done it. Pinkbeard!  
  
Wufie: Foolishness!  
  
Duo: Yea, only Pinkbeard would take someone away in just a split second. Remember Heero's story from last night?  
  
Heero: It's just a story, Duo.  
  
Quatre: Oh poor Trowa-kun!  
  
Heero: Quatre, take us right where it happened. I want to check this out for myself.  
  
****The g-boys follow Quatre to a small lake; when he shows them the exact spot where Trowa disapeared, Heero stoops over and picks up a small piece of hair****  
  
Duo: What the heck is that?  
  
Wufei: It looks like...  
  
Heero: ...hair...*pink* hair.  
  
Quatre: Then that means...then that means...  
  
Duo: Pinkbeard!  
  
Wufei: Nonsense!!  
  
Duo: But Wufei, who else is on this island besides us and the girls? None of us have pink hair!  
  
Wufei: There is no such thing as pirate ghosts. You Americans watch too many stupid horror flicks.  
  
Duo: Well, then where's Trowa?  
  
Wufei: He probably is back at camp wondering where we are.  
  
Quatre: Then let's go and see.  
  
  
****As this is going on, the g-girls' are taking a hike through the woods****  
  
Hilde *laughing*: Ha! Ha! Ha! I still can't believe we did that!  
  
Cathy: Can you imagine how the guys will react when they found what we did?  
  
Sally: They'll be terrified.  
  
Relena: You guys, I don't think what we did was a good thing to do.  
  
Hilde: Well, you're no fun Miss Relena.  
  
Dorothy: I think it would have been even more amusing if there had been blood involved.  
  
Cathy: O.o Well, we didn't want anybody to get hurt.  
  
Hilde: Oh man, Pinkbeard! You can come up with ideas just from hearing a story.  
  
Relena: Does anybody know where the treasure is, Sally?  
  
Sally: Well, it's said to be on the southern part of the island underneath a big old oak tree. I don't think anyone's actually ever gone to look for it because of the ghost legend. It could be there still.  
  
*A gleam shimmers in Dorothy's eyes*  
  
****Back at the guy's camp****  
  
G-boys *screaming*: Gaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!  
  
:::On Wufei's tent, words were scratched onto it by a sharp knife. The message said: "Beware of Pinkbeard":::  
  
Duo: Pinkbeard must've done that while we were gone! He wrote on Wufei's tent; that's a bad sign.  
  
Quatre: First Trowa and now Wufei...  
  
Wufei: Shut up Winner.  
  
Heero: Quatre, Duo you're both overreacting. If it had been Pinkbeard that had taken Trowa, there we would have found his nose.  
  
Quatre: Do you think we may have missed it? Maybe we should go back and look for Trowa's nose.   
  
Duo: Maybe Pinkbeards's gotten tired of that routine.  
  
Wufei: Ghosts don't get tired of routines, Maxwell.  
  
Duo: So then you do believe in pirate ghosts!  
  
Wufei: I do not, I was just making a point!  
  
Duo: Point that...  
  
Wufei: There is no such as Pinkbeard! If he was real-which he he isn't-then we would have found Trowa's nose--but of course we didn't find his nose, because once again there are no such things as pirate ghosts and it's all just stupid made up foolishness from idiotic people who like to scare others just for their own personal pleasure!  
  
Duo: Awww Am I making Wu-man mad? ^__^  
  
Wufei: Stop calling me Wu-man!!  
  
Quatre: Stop fighting you two. Wufei is Pinkbeard's next victim so we need to protect him from now on.  
  
Wufei: What?  
  
Quatre: Don't worry Wufei, we'll watch over you and make sure that no mean old pirate ghosts take you away.  
  
Wufei: -__-  
  
Duo: It looks like this survival contest has gotten just a bit more than what we bargained for.  
  
****A few hours later****  
  
Wufei: No, I am not wearing this!  
  
Quatre: But Wufei, it will protect you from harm.  
  
Wufei: This is injustice! I refuse to wear such a ridiculous thing!  
  
Heero *emerging from the forest with sticks and stuff for firewood*: What's Wufei screaming about now?  
  
Duo: He's upset about the stuff Quatre's making him wear to protect himself from Pinkbeard.  
  
:::Heero notices the things Wufei is wearing and actually smirks a bit:::  
  
Wufei: Oh no, Heero's almost smiling! Now I know I look dumb in this.  
  
:::Wufei is now wearing nothing but a long grass skirt down to his knees and a hi-cut nosleeved shirt. He's also wearing a gourd around his neck and green stuff that looks like facepaint on his cheeks and eyes:::  
  
Wufei: I don't see why I have to wear all this stuff.  
  
Quatre: The shirt symbolizes goodness and purity, things that a evil pirate ghost will stay away from, and the gourd you're wearing was considered a magical vegetable used by the Magichoochoo Indians to keep spirits away. The facepaint is used by the Yaji clan of Arabia to scare away the evil spirits.  
  
Duo *to himself*: And I added the grasskirt in as a final touch. ^^  
  
Wufei: This stuff I'm wearing will scare anybody away!  
  
Quatre: But if you don't wear it then Pinkbeard will get you.  
  
Wufei: How many times do I have to tell you? There is NO such thing as Pinkbeard! He does not exist!  
  
Duo: Wufei, your skirt is up in the back.  
  
Wufei: Dang! I thought it was a bit drafty.  
  
****The g-gals are still hiking but somewhere along the way, Dorothy mysteriously disappears. Gee, I wonder where she went.^^ They start looking for her but then it starts to rain and then look for a place to stay dry. Then they find a cave.****  
  
Hilde: Let's a fire going, it's so dark in here.  
  
Cathy: I got some firewood.  
  
Sally: Let's try using two rocks and get a flame going.  
  
:::Sally starts hitting two rocks together and creates a few sparks, most of them onto the sticks and they started a small fire; but one spark went astray and landed somewhere else::::  
  
Relena: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!   
  
Cathy: OHMIGOSH, HER HAIR'S On FIRE!!  
  
Sally: I don't think we have any water with us!  
  
Hilde: Quick--run Relena and find a place with water!   
  
Cathy: Run outside in the rain!  
  
:::With her hair all in a blaze, Relena runs outside screaming like a maniac. After awhile it's quiet and the girls in the cave start to relax and follow to where Relena ran to see if her whole head didn't get burnt. When they found Relena her hair was all scorched and she was blankly staring at something.:::  
  
Sally: Relena, what is it?  
  
Cathy: What's wrong?  
  
:::Relena points at the ground and the girls look carefully to see what it is. They see large bear tracks in the dirt that are a bit faded from the rain along with something else lying next to one of them.:::  
  
Cathy: What are those?  
  
:::Hilde picks them up and inspects them for a moment:::  
  
Hilde: They look like...  
  
Sally*gasps*: They're Dorothy's eyebrows!  
  
Well, that's it for part four. I left you hanging right at a suspenseful moment didn't I? I'll try not to keep you hanging for long; this fic will keep going until the contest is over. So far two people have not survived, who in the end will be left standing? Find out by reading on! Later!! 


	5. Rumble on the Island

Okay, I'm back and finally have the next part up. I was on a senior trip which explains the delay. Thanks to all who have reviewed. ^__^Once again, I don't own the Gundam Wing story, characters, or anything. I'm just a fan.  
  
  
GW Survival Contest Part Five:  
Rumble on the Island  
  
  
  
Hilde: Her eyebrows? Now how stupid is that?!  
  
Cathy: Does this mean she's...she's...  
  
Sally: ...dead. Yes, I'm afraid Dorothy is dead now. There's no way she could have escaped this vicious animal. Look at the size of the footprints.  
  
Cathy: What are her eyebrows doing here anyways?  
  
Sally: What kind of a dumb question is that?! That bear was smart enough to spit those eyebrows out. Can you imagine how many holes those pointed things can put in a stomach?  
  
Relena: So what do we do now?  
  
------two seconds of silence-------------  
  
Hilde: Oh well, Let's go get something to eat.  
  
G-girls: Yea!!!  
  
Sally: I never liked her anyways; she gave me the creeps.  
  
Cathy: Let's have some more of that leftover moose.  
  
Relena *drooling* Yuuumm...moose...O.o  
  
*******Back at the g-boys camp********  
  
Quatre: We have to stay on this island for the rest of today and tomorrow, so to insure our survival I have made the same special protection uniform that Wufei has for all of us.  
  
Heero: Quatre, don't you think this is going a just little too far?  
  
:::All four g-boys are now wearing stupid outfits much like Wufei's. Duo has a grass skirt on and a funky-looking vegetable hanging from his neck and Heero's his hair is now a strange shade of purple (he swore to kill Quatre if he made him wear the grass skirt).:::  
  
Duo: This is stupid! Grass skirts? Dyed hair? Who's big idea was this anyway?  
  
Wufei *deathglare*: You, Maxwell.  
  
Duo: ^__^ Oh yeah.  
  
:::Heero searches for a gun but of course he doesn't have any thanks to me ^^, so instead he brings out his fists to Quatre:::  
  
Heero: I will kill you.  
  
Quatre *sweatdrops nervously*: Take it easy Heero, we shouldn't fight it wouldn't be the right thing. I'm only trying to help. You wouldn't want Pinkbeard to get you would you?  
  
Wufei: He can take Maxwell.  
  
Duo: ?!  
  
Quatre: Wufei, you might jinx him!!  
  
Wufei: Winner....  
  
Quatre: Yes, Wufei-kun?  
  
Wufei: WILL YOU STOP IT WITH PINKBEARD AND ALL THIS HOCUS POCUS, MAGIC CRAP!!!  
  
Quatre *huge, teary eyes*: You don't have to be so mean.  
  
Wufei: Only the weak believe in that sort of thing. I thought an intellectual person like you would know better than to believe in old wive's tales like that. Winner, answer me honestly. Do you really believe in all this foolishness such as pinkbearded ghosts, noses, and magic vegetables?  
  
Quatre: Well...there has been a lot of weird occurrences on this island.  
  
Wufei: Foolishness!!  
  
Heero: Will you guys stop arguing so that we can look for Trowa?  
  
Quatre *eyes watering up*: Poor Trowa-kun...  
  
Duo: Way to go Heero, you've turned the water fountain on.  
  
Heero: We should stop wasting time and look for Trowa. Who knows where he his and what could have happened to him. Maybe he's...  
  
Wufei: Shut Up!  
  
Heero: What's wrong with you?  
  
Wufei: I was afraid you would get Quatre to start crying and say that Trowa was dead.  
  
Quatre: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! TROOOOOWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Duo: Smart move, Wu-man.  
  
Wufei: Don't call me Wu-man!  
  
Heero: Come on guys. :::He walks into the forest with his new hair look:::  
  
Duo: Let's go guys.  
  
Quatre: Don't worry, Trowa! We'll save you!  
  
******When the g-girls return to camp, they find a little surprise waiting for them*******  
  
Cathy: Our camp!  
  
Relena: It looks like a hurrican hit it!  
  
Sally: Our tents are down.  
  
Hilde: Alright! Who did this?! Someone was messing with my beret collection!  
  
Sally: The guys.  
  
Cathy: They must be getting us back for messing with their tent.  
  
Sally: Well, they didn't have to do all this; this place is wrecked. Ooooohh, I bet that hotheaded "Mr. Man of Justice" Wufei was in the lead of all this. It was his tent. Wait until I get my hands on him, I'll show him just how scary a woman can be!  
  
Relena: Look at this!  
  
:::The g-girls looked at a piece of the tent Relena was holding up. Painted onto it was a short message:   
"You are next. PB":::  
  
Cathy: PB?  
  
Hilde: Pinkbeard?  
  
Sally: They've stolen my hair twists! They will pay dearly.  
  
Hilde: I'll kill Mr. god of death for this.  
  
Cathy: Let's go!  
  
Relena: Ladies, ladies wait. There are better options on how to settle all this. I say we organize a meeting and try to make a peace settlement.  
  
Sally: This is not war, Relena.. this is personal.  
  
G-girls except for Relena: Onward!  
  
**********Somewhere in the deep woods, the g-boys are searching for Trowa**************  
  
Quatre: Do you see anything?  
  
Wufei: No.  
  
Duo: Hey Quatre, what's Wu-man doing up in a tree? Has he learned a new trick?  
  
Wufei*sarcastically*: Ha, Ha. Acutally, I'm looking for Trowa but so far all I've seen is trees and more trees.  
  
Duo: Really. Then while you're at it, try fixing your grass skirt 'cause unfortunately down here we can see a lot more besides trees.  
  
:::Wufei turns red as he fixes his skirt:::  
Wufei: You think you're so funny, Maxwell. You're the funny man whom everybody loves, the all time favorite and most popular one in the group whom everyone worships.  
  
Duo: Well...I would call it charm. You know, I could give you a few pointers, just remember--  
  
**THONK!**  
  
:::A random coconut flies from the tree, hitting Duo squarely on the head and the poor shinigami falls to the ground unconscious.:::  
  
Quatre: Wufei, how could you!  
  
**********Fifteen minutes later*************  
  
Wufei: I feel like we've searched the entire forest. Where is Barton?  
  
Heero: I think my back's going to give out.  
  
Wufei: You can put that bumbling fool Maxwell down for a moment, Heero. We should take a short break.  
  
Quatre: No! We can't keep Trowa alone in the wilderness any longer.  
  
Wufei: Winner, I'm tired and my feet hurt.  
  
Quatre: Well, you've got those Chinese shoes of yours and I'm wearing these five hundred dollar shoes of mine and I'm not complaining!  
  
Heero *low almost to a whisper*: Quiet! Did you guys here that?  
  
Wufei: Here what?  
  
:::A low sound of footsteps in the forest::::  
  
Heero: That. Someone's coming.  
  
Quatre: Oh no, Pinkbeard. Hide me!  
  
Wufei: Get off of me you pathetic weakling! Sometimes I wonder how you became a Gundam pilot.  
  
:::The footsteps get closer and Heero and Wufei, although having trouble since Quatre is going hysterical, get ready for whatever it is that's coming:::  
  
G-girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
G-boys: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Relena: Heero? Is that you?  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Relena: Why are you guys wearing face paint and grass skirts?  
  
Hilde: And why's Duo asleep?  
  
Sally: Enough with this. We have something to settle.  
  
Relena: Please, Sally.  
  
Sally: We saw your little deed. We discovered your so brilliant idea.  
  
Quatre: You mean you saw me milking a chipmunk for our daily source of calcium?  
  
Sally: O.O Ummm...no...  
  
Quatre: Oh.  
  
Heero: !!!!  
  
Wufei: I thought those pancakes you made tasted a bit peculiar.  
  
Hilde: No, we found our campsite in ruins because of you.  
  
Wufei: What are you talking about, woman?  
  
Cathy: You know what we're talking about! You guys wrecked our campsite while we were away to get back at us for writing stuff on your tent.  
  
Wufei: So you're the insolent fools you destroyed my tent! How dare you destroy an elite fighters dwelling?! How dare you!  
  
Quatre: Wait a minute! We didn't destroy your campsite, honest. We thought it was Pinkbeard that messed up Wufei's tent.  
  
Hilde: A likely story. Only an idiot would believe in stories like that.  
  
:::Quatre keeps silent:::  
  
Hilde *threateningly picking up a coconut*: Let's teach them a lesson girls.  
  
Sally and Cathy: Yeah!  
  
Relena: No!  
  
Quatre: No fair! Four against three. Wait-where's Dorothy?  
  
Sally: She's gone now and so will you be when I'm done.  
  
Quatre: Oh no! Duo, wake up!  
  
Wufei *gets into a fighting stance*: Bring it on! I haven't had a good challenge in a long time.  
  
::::The two forces move in, and clash together into a fierce battle of fists and coconuts. Heero is wrestling with Cathy (not that kind of wrestling!!) Sally starts to hit Wufei on the head with his own gourd, and Hilde is easing in towards Quatre who is still trying to wake up Duo.::::  
  
Quatre *talking partially Duo, although he's still unconscious*: No!! Will anything save us now, old friend? *looking up into the sky* Will anything stop the fighting?  
  
::::Suddenly, a strange noise from nearby halts all action, causing the fight to stop:::  
  
Hilde: What the heck was that?  
  
  
That's it for now!! What was that strange noise? Is it Trowa? Is it Dorothy (if she's still alive)? Is it Pinkbeard? Or is it somebody or something else? Will they ever find Trowa? Will Duo ever wake up? Will Quatre find a better source for their daily calcium? Will I stop asking questions and shut up?  
  
Find out in the next part--possibly the last part of the Survival contest. Bye for now!!  
  
Please R and R!!!! 


	6. The End of the Line

Hey guys! I'm baaaaaack! You didn't think I would actually leave hanging like that did ya? ^^ Sorry I took so long to update. I've been working on another fanfic so it takes up a lot of my time for writing. Well, here's the next part.  
  
GW Survival Contest  
Part Six: The End of the Line  
  
:::The g-boys and g-girls are watching and waiting, waiting for the mysterious thing in the woods to come out but...nothing does. All of a sudden, Duo comes to.:::  
  
Duo: -wha--what?! What's going on? What's that noise?  
  
Cathy: Ssshh...I think it's hiding.  
  
Duo: What is?  
  
Hilde: There's something in the bushes.  
  
Duo: Maybe it's a bear.  
  
Relena: Maybe it's going to eat us.  
  
Quatre: Wow! This is great you guys! I've always wanted to study the feeding habits of bears!  
  
Heero: You're not well aware of the situation we're in, are you Quatre?  
  
Hilde: NO! I'm too young to be eaten!  
:::She spots Wufei and pushes him towards the bushes:::  
Eat him! Eat him! Chinese food is good for you!  
  
Wufei: What the he@# are you doing woman!!  
  
Sally: If we survive and this is all over with, let's all kill Dfire.  
  
G-boys and girls: Yeahhh!!  
  
Heero: I'll go investigate.  
  
Relena: Be careful Heero.  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Duo: I'll go with you man.  
  
:::The two walk into the woods and the group waits for them to return. A few minutes pass when they hear a loud bloodcurdling screech:::  
  
Hilde: It's Duo! Oh no, the bear got him!  
  
Quatre: Or maybe worse!  
  
:::All of a sudden, Duo comes screaming out of the forest, waving his arms like a maniac:::  
Duo: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! IT'S PINKBEARD! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIVES!!!!  
  
G-boys and g-girls: EEEEKKKKKK!!! O.O @.@  
They all run off like mad, all except for Wufei.  
Wufei: I'm not running from anything. Especially not from some stupid ghost."  
  
:::Heero then emerges from the woods with the same expressionless face and the same monotone voice:::  
Heero: False alarm.  
  
Wufei: Hey you guys!! Maxwell was just trying to be funny again! There is no Pinkbeard!  
  
G-boys and girls: DUO!!!  
  
:::Duo starts laughing like crazy:::  
Duo: You guys should have seen your faces! They were all superdeformed!  
  
Sally: I'll superdeform your face kid! Come over here!  
  
Duo: AAAAHHH!! :::The gundam people watch as Duo runs off with Sally right on his heels:::  
  
Wufei: Where's my katana when I need it?  
  
Quatre: Let's look for Trowa, you guys.  
  
:::A weird howling noise interrupts the quiet forest:::  
  
Duo: *Gulp* Okay, but I'm right behind you.  
  
:::They continue on their hunt for their beloved boy with the bangs. A few hours pass and it's now starting to get dark when they realize that there's someting wrong:::  
  
Relena: Isn't that the third time we've past that tree already?  
  
Cathy: More like the fifth. Does anybody know where we're going?  
  
Wufei: Where have you taken us Yuy?  
  
Quatre: We're lost aren't we?  
  
Heero: -__- ...yes  
  
Hilde: Way to go, Heero.  
  
Heero *with a small tone of sarcasm*: Maybe if I had a map then this would be easier. Darn that Dfire!  
  
Wufei: That's why you use landmarks!  
  
Note to self: Mission Destroy Wufei Chang  
  
Duo: It's a good thing Dfire's not here watching us. She'd be laughing hysterically right now.  
  
:::A voice booms from above that only Duo can hear:::  
Dfire: Actually, I am watching and I am laughing hysterically at you.  
  
Duo: O.o Woah...  
  
Wufei: Well, I don't about you people but I'm going to find my own way around. I don't need Yuy.  
  
Duo: Go on then! No one's stoppin' ya.  
  
Wufei: Farewell then. I'll pray that no bears have you for supper.  
  
Hilde: Same to you, Injustice boy.  
  
Wufei: How dare you insult me!  
  
Hilde: You're just mad that your only friend is your Gundam!  
  
Wufei: You shut up woman! You've got no original character design at all! They just took a miniature sketch of Noin, and made it into you!  
  
Duo: Well, you're the only guy without bangs so there!!  
  
Wufei: Well, Mr. Shinigami you got a braid that makes you look like a girl and a lot of people match you up with Yuy.  
  
Heero: -__- Must you mention that?  
  
Duo: Oh yeah!!?? Well, you're just jealous that I'm the most popular g-boy and your the one that gets ignored most of the time!  
  
Wufei: I don't know what you're talking about, Maxwell.  
  
Duo: You know what I mean! Who's got the long list of shrines on the Internet!? Who does every girl want to glomp?!!   
ME, WUFEI!!!! MEEEE!!!  
  
:::With that last remark Wufei leaves deciding that he can't take much more of the insults. The strange howling noise once again interrupts the silence:::  
  
Cathy *shudders*: I wish whatever that was making that noise would stop.  
  
Quatre: You two, that wasn't very nice.  
  
Duo: He had it coming and besides, he hurt my feelings too.  
  
Hilde: I am not a mini sketch of Noin!  
  
Relena: Come to think of it, you do look a lot like her.  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Sally: What was that?  
  
Quatre: Someone screamed.  
  
Heero: Chang.  
  
Cathy: You mean Wufei? We'd better go help him.  
  
Duo: Well, I'm not.  
  
Relena: Duo!  
  
Duo: Okay, okay. Sheeeshh.  
  
:::The gang runs through the forest searching left and right, when they hear Quatre scream out loud.:::  
  
Quatre: Help!!  
  
Sally: Quatre, where are you?  
  
Quatre: Over here, with Wufei!  
  
Sally: Wufei?  
  
Duo: We hear you man but we don't see you.  
  
A familiar voice: Down here Maxwell.  
  
Duo: Oh, look its Wufei and Quatre. They're in a pit!  
  
Relena: How'd you guys get down there?  
  
Wufei: We felt like jumping into a big hole. What do you think?! We fell in! Someone put this here as a trap.  
  
Cathy: Don't worry, we'll get you out. As soon as we find a vine or something to pull you out with.  
  
Duo: How'd 'bout a human chain?  
  
Heero: A what?  
  
Duo: You know, when everyone holds onto eachother like a chain and the person at the end reaches for Wufei and Quatre to grab on.  
  
Sally: I...don't think that's...such a good idea for us.  
  
Relena: There's a nice vine right here.  
  
:::They all huddle around to carry the big vine when all of a sudden, they are lifted high into the trees, trapped in a big net.:::  
  
Duo: What the h#$@?!  
  
Cathy: What's going on?  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Hilde: Great, what do we do now?  
  
Voice: You beg for my mercy.  
  
:::They look down to see Dorothy herself watching them with a huge smirk and only little bits of eyebrow still left on her face:::  
  
Relena: Dorothy, get us down!  
  
Dorothy *does that giggle of hers*: Is Miss Relena afraid of heights?  
  
Sally: What's the meaning of this?  
  
Dorothy: I can't believe you all fell for it. It actually worked.  
  
Duo: What worked?!  
  
Dorothy: I'm the one behind all those scary messages. I'm the one who destroyed the girl's camp.  
  
Hilde: You did that?!  
  
Sally: Why?  
  
Dorothy *with an amused grin*: To throw you off track. Plus, it was funny just to watch you freak out like you did. Don't you get it? I'm after the hidden treasure on this island but I had to do something to give me time to search for it.   
  
Cathy: And that's why you faked your own death.  
  
Dorothy: Yes. But then I realized that I had to somehow get rid of all of you so that the treasure would belong onlyn to me. So, I took the quiet one.  
  
Quatre: Trowa-kun.  
  
Dorothy: I thought that if I took one of you, then you would believe that a mean ghost took him and you would have to save him. And it actually worked!  
  
Duo: I didn't believe in that ghost stuff for one second.  
  
Heero: -__-  
  
Relena: I can't believe you would do this Dorothy.  
  
Hilde: Yeah, and chop you're eyebrows off like that too.  
  
Sally *mutters*: I can't tell which looks worse. The way they are now, or before.  
  
Dorothy: So you guys wandered around until finally you came upon my little trap set just for you. Now you're stuck in there and the treasure is mine! Bwahahahaahahaha!!  
  
Mysterious Voice from behind: Not if I can help it.  
  
Dorothy *a look of horror on her face*: No!! NO IT CAN'T BE!!  
  
Duo: Hey Trowa! Long time no see.  
  
  
  
Please read and review if you want to see more. ^^ 


	7. 

Hello again, fanfic readers! I'm sorry that I haven't been writing lately. With graduation and exams coming up, I've been real busy. Now I have a prom to go to. I barely have time to breathe now. Thanks to all those who reviewed.^^ Now here it is...part seven! Enjoy.  
  
Regular lil' disclaimer: Don't own GW or Herbal Essence. I definitely don't own Sports Illustrated and Playboy, so don't sue  
  
The GW Survival Contest  
Part Seven: OZ Is Here!!  
  
:::The g-peeps are in a state of complete shock. Hilde's mouth is wide open, Wufei's eyes are as big as they can get (which isn't too big, and even Heero doesn't have his usual monotonous face.:::  
  
Quatre: *flood crying* Trowa-kun, I'm so glad to see your alive. I-I was afraid Pinkbeard got you.  
  
Heero: Are you okay, Trowa?  
  
Trowa: I am now. *glares at Dorothy* This lunatic here kidnapped me and tied me up to a palm tree, but I managed to escape.  
  
Duo: So how did you break free? Did you saw through the rope with that hair of yours?  
  
Hilde: Did you just skillfully slide through the ropes with that skinny waist of yours?  
  
Trowa: *.* Ummm...no...actually I just got hold of a knife that Dorothy accidentally dropped.  
  
Dorothy: &*@$#@!  
  
Duo: Hahahaha! Looks like your plans are ruined, baka!  
  
Dorothy: You keep quiet, pink underwear boy!  
  
Duo: O.O...*pulls on his grass skirt*  
  
:::All of a sudden, Trowa leaps into the air and does that cool flip twirly thing he did in Endless Waltz. Whipping out the same knife he used to escape, he slashes through the net, and the g-boys and g-girls come tumbling out:::  
  
Dorothy: NOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Relena: We're free!!  
  
Wufei *somehow manages to leap out of the giant hole he's in with a boost from Quatre*: Prepare yourself, woman! Prepare to feel the wrath of justice! *reaches for his kitana but remembers that thanks to me ^^ its not there anymore; so instead, he pulls the gourd off his neck and approaches Dorothy*  
  
Dorothy: What are you doing? Put that thing down!  
  
Duo: That's a good idea. *pulls off his gourd*  
  
Heero: *quietly pulls of his gourd*  
  
Dorothy: No!! Don't come any closer!! Get away!!!  
  
Cathy: Let's tie her up to a tree and throw coconuts at her!  
  
Sally: Let's feed her to a bear!!  
  
Relena: Let's tar and feather her!!  
  
G-people: O.o  
  
Dorothy: Stay away from me or...or else!  
  
:::The g-peeps pounce on her and all you can see is a big cloud of smoke and Dorothy screaming as she is beaten with vegetables:::  
  
Quatre: *still trapped in that giant hole Dorothy made. How she made it so quick without a shovel is beyond me* Hey guys! Can somebody help me? You guys?! What's going on up there?  
  
Dfire: Well, this is getting gruesome. Why don't we revert to a more pleasant scene so that I won't lose my g-rating.  
  
:::Somewhere on the island, trouble is a-lurking:::  
  
Noin: Can we stop digging now? My arms are really starting to ache.  
  
Zechs: It's so hot and humid and my hair's starting to frizz.  
  
Lady Une: No, we can't stop now. We have to find that treasure for Mr. Treize before the Gundam pilots and the girls or Dfire find out that we're here. Where is your strength and durability as soldiers?  
  
Noin and Zechs: -__-  
  
Treize *sitting comfortably in a nice chair underneath the shade of a palm tree, drinking a nice cold, refreshing margarita*  
Lt. Noin, Lt. Zechs, don't worry. You can have a two-minute break soon.  
  
Noin: *grumbling real low* *&%@#!  
  
Lady Une: It's too bad that tape recording and the bear act in the bushes Zechs performed, didn't scare the kids off the island.  
  
Treize: That's alright, Lady. We can find the treasure and leave the island before they notice anything. They're too busy surviving in Dfire's mindless contest and acting like idiots in front of everyone who's reading her fic.  
  
Zechs: It's a good thing we're not a part of it. I wouldn't want anybody seeing me shoveling sand with my hair looking like this. After all, I do have a reputation to keep.  
  
Lady Une: Would you like another margarita, Mr. Treize? Or perhaps I could fluff your pillow?  
  
Treize: No, I'm fine Lady Une. I will call for you when I need you. Maybe later you can give me a back massage and flip the pages of my favorite magazine.  
  
Lady Une: Treize, I live to serve you.^^ I will bring out your entire collection of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Editions and Playboy right away. *notices Zechs and Noin* You two, back to work!  
  
Noin: *grumbling to herself* I hate it on this island. Like that man really needs more money. He's richer than Bill Gates.  
  
Zechs: I could use some Herbal Essence.  
  
Dfire: And now back to our two competing teams.*.*  
  
:::Back at err...wherever the g-boys and girls are at, things have calmed down now. The gang is now parading around in a circle whooping and yelling like Indians. Dorothy, who is now virtually eyebrowless, is tied up to a tree with a gourd halfway sticking out of her mouth and crude paintings of chibi Shinigamis, panda bears, and circus animals covering her from head to toe. Heero and Trowa are helping Quatre out of the hole.:::  
  
Quatre: What happened? What's going on?  
  
Heero: We got Dorothy. Everything should be fine now.  
  
Quatre: So there it wasn't Pinkbeard doing all those mean things?  
  
Trowa: No Quatre, it wasn't.  
  
Quatre: *approaches Dorothy* So you did the bear act too?  
  
Dorothy: *looks confused*  
  
Quatre: You know. The bear growling behind the bushes? The howling in the woods?  
  
Dorothy: Mfvvp mvvf mwvn...  
  
Quatre: I beg your pardon?  
  
Dorothy: MFVVP MUUF MWVN...  
  
Sally: Maybe you should take the gourd out of her mouth first.  
  
Quatre: Oh yeah. *He pulls the thing out* Did you do--  
  
Dorothy: I HEARD YOU, BAKA!!! And I have no idea what you're talking about--but when I get out of this, all of you will--  
  
Sally: Ok, you can put the gourd back in now.  
  
Quatre: *confusedly shoves it back in her mouth*  
  
Sally: Obviously she didn't have anything to do with the howling and the "bear" in the bushes. Hmmmm...this is getting a bit confusing.  
  
Cathy: If Dorothy didn't do those things, then who did?  
  
Duo: I don't know, but whoever it was is not one of us and is on this island.  
  
Hilde: What should we do?  
  
Relena: We should go look for them.  
  
Duo: Relena, I know this island ain't Australia but it still would be hard to find this person.  
  
Cathy: We could split up into groups.  
  
Hilde: Oh no! I'm not doing that on this forsaken place.  
  
Duo: Well I'm stumped. Any ideas, Heero?  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Duo: Guess not.  
  
Quatre: Just think for a moment. Where would anybody be on this island?  
  
:::Moment of heavy thinking but interrupted by Wufei:::  
  
Wufei: Where the treasure is, of course.  
  
Sally: Of course!  
  
Trowa: ....!  
  
Relena: It's supposed to be in the southern part, right Hilde?  
  
Hilde: Yes.  
  
Duo: Now let's go kick his butt!  
  
:::Meanwhile, back where the folks of Oz are:::  
  
Treize: Hmmm...I think I like page seven more than nine. Alright now, Lady, the centerfold.  
  
Noin: Pardon the interruption, Col. Treize but--  
  
Treize: Not now, Lt. I'm extremely busy.  
  
Zechs: But sir, there is a large group emerging from the north side. It is probably the Gundam pilots and the girls.  
  
Treize: *jumps out of his chair almost knocking over his mudslide* Then call in the troops! Prepare the firearms! Bring out the Gundams! Send me the Tallgeese II! (I think that's the one he used in the last episodes. Correct me if I'm wrong)  
  
Une: Sir, we're not back at base.  
  
Treize: Ah yes...I remember now. Then what do we have for defense and ammunition?  
  
Noin: We have coconuts, sir. And plenty of them.  
  
Treize: Alright then, prepare the...err...coconuts!!  
  
:::The G-boys and girls are now creeping up behind tropical plants and trees, watching their enemy prepare for battle:::  
  
Sally: It's OZ! What are they doing here?  
  
Hilde: Looking for treasure of course.  
  
Duo: So they wanna play rough, eh? Well two can play at that game.  
  
Cathy: ??? What's up with this place? Weren't we up to our ears in acorns and berry bushes just a second ago? Now we're surrounded by palm trees and bananas.  
  
Wufei: *extremely sarcastic* Let's thank our wonderful, lovely author for that unique and creative mind of hers.  
  
Quatre: Alright, it's now or never. Everyone, grab coconuts! It's the best weapon we have--actually, it's the only weapon we have.  
  
Wufei: *cursing about how elite gundam pilots shouldn't have to fight with coconuts*  
  
Trowa: You don't have to participate, Miss Relena.  
  
Relena: I know I shouldn't...  
  
Heero: Then stay here where it's safe.  
  
Relena: ...but after what I've been through on this island, I'm in a really bad mood and want I want to bash somebody's head against a rock!  
  
Heero: O.o  
  
Quatre: This is it! This may be a rough battle but I'm sure with your experiences on the battlefield you all will pull through. I wish you all the best of luck.  
  
Wufei: All of you keep away from Treize, he's mine. I have a score to settle with him.  
  
Duo: Hope you have better luck than that last duel with him on the ship, Wu-man.  
  
Wufei: -__- Must you remind me of that? And will you stop calling me Wu-man!?  
  
Relena: Be careful, Heero.  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Duo: *now wearing warrior paint and leaves on his head and skirt for camouflage* Is everybody ready?  
  
G-boys and g-girls: Yeah!  
  
Duo: Alright then! CHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
Oh no! Looks like my innocent lil' survival competition has turned into an all-out beach war! *taps her fingers and looks around innocently* Ooopsie.  
  
Review peoples. Until next time. 


	8. Quatre the Pirate!!

Hello! I'm baaaaaack! Thank you to all those who are reviewing and enjoying my little contest. Yes, I try hard to keep the Gundam people in character. I don't like it either when people make them too OOC. Wow! This fic is getting a lot longer than I thought. I just keep coming up with new ways to torture the Gundam peeps.  
  
  
  
  
WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING This part has a slight spoiler about Treize. For those who haven't seen the whole series yet, unless they believe that they've already been spoiled, don't read this. Then again, to help you from skipping a whole part and getting confused in chapter nine, avoid the part where Wufei meets up with Treize and you should be fine.  
  
I don't own the Gundam Wing thing.  
  
Part Eight: Quatre the Pirate  
  
******Warning! Beware of random flying coconuts. You must wear a safety helmet beyond this point.*******  
  
What have I done? What started out as a quiet little contest has turned into a war! Coconuts are flying everywhere and the sounds of battle are ringing in the ears. The entire main cast of Gundam Wing has gone insane and it's all because of me. Man I'm good!^__^  
  
:::Lady Une and Treize are on a high platform in a palm tree. Noin and Zechs are on another with large piles of coconuts by their side:::  
  
Lady Une: Here they come! Prepare to fire!  
  
Duo in his warrior paint and camouflage charging through the hot sand: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! *bloodthirsty warrior cry*  
  
Une: Ready...Aim...Fire!  
  
:::Coconuts come pouring down on the g-boys and gals:::  
  
Hilde: Where's Noin? Comparing me to her!? I'll show everyone which one's be--" *a flying coconut smashes against her head*(konk!)  
  
Duo: Hilde?  
  
Hilde: +.+  
  
Duo: Oh no...they got her! *shakes his fist* Curse you OZ!!  
  
:::Trowa and Quatre have finished building a wall of sand to protect themselves from the coconuts and are throwing their coconuts with the help of a slingshot ingeniously made by the blonde Arab:::  
  
Trowa: We're running short of ammo!  
  
Quatre: Don't worry, I sent Cathy to bring more supplies.  
  
Trowa: Quatre! Look out!  
  
Quatre: Wha--(KONK!)  
  
Trowa: it's a coconut... o.o  
  
:::He starts smacking Quatre in the face, trying to make him gain back consciousness:::  
  
Trowa: Quatre, wake up!  
  
Quatre: ...iiii've got a loveeely bunch o' cocooonuts...  
  
Trowa: Snap out of it!  
  
:::All of a sudden, Quatre gets that strange crazy look (the famous Wing Zero look) and with one eye closed growls:::  
  
Quatre: Grrr! Arrrggh, matey!  
  
Trowa: ?.? Quatre?  
  
Quatre: The treasure! Where be th' treasure?!  
  
Trowa: Quatre, why are you talking like that?  
  
Quatre: Winner's the name! Captain Winner! And if ye don't tell me where my treasure be, I'll 'ave to slit ye throat!  
  
Trowa: oh no... (O.O)  
  
*****************  
  
:::Meanwhile, Wufei has skillfuly dodged the coconuts and begins to climb up Treize and Une's palm tree. When he reaches the platform, he finds that Lady Une is waiting for him:::  
  
Une: To get to Mr.Treize, you have to go through me.  
  
Wufei: Step aside woman! Your boss and I have something to finish.  
  
Une: I don't think so.  
  
:::Wufei swings his leg to knock her down but the platform is really small, so instead Une falls off the palm tree. Wufei grinned with satisfaction, Treize was now all to himself:::  
  
:::On Treize's platform:::  
  
Wufei: Treize, I must kill you.  
  
Treize: And why is that?  
  
Wufei: Because you were supposed to die in episode 48 and yet you somehow ended up in this fic. I must correct the wrongdoings of the insane author in the name of...!  
  
Treize: I know...justice, am I right?  
  
Wufei: No, Nataku.  
  
Treize: *relieved* Thank God. Very well then, what shall we fight with? You don't have a weapon and I left my sword at home.  
  
Wufei: Hmmm..never thought of that. We should have some sort of competition.  
  
Treize: How about an arm wrestling match?  
  
Wufei: No, something more challenging.   
  
Treize: *thinks for a moment* I know! Who can drink from the most coconuts.  
  
Wufei: Nah, coconuts make me break out into hives.  
  
Treize: Hmmm...  
  
Wufei: Hmmmm... maybe we should go somewhere for inspiration.  
  
****************************  
  
:::Lady Une finally wakes up to find herself sitting up against a wall tied up. When she looked to her side, Zechs and Noin were in the same situation. She soon realizes that they're on the boat that they used to get to Bear Island:::  
  
Une: What the ?  
  
Quatre: Arrrrrggghhh!!  
  
Une: *.O It's gundam pilot four.  
  
Noin: And he's gone completely nuts!  
  
:::Quatre or *ahem* Captain Winner somehow found a pirate outfit , which he is now wearing instead of the grasskirt he was in earlier::: Ahhh..the land lover finally awakens.  
  
Zechs: What do you want, kid?  
  
Quatre: You know 'xactly what Captain Winner be searchin' fer! The treasure of Pinkbeard!  
  
Une: That's what we're looking for right now. At least, we were until once again you gundam pilots had to spoil everything for us. Where are those other kids anyway?  
  
Quatre: Right 'ere!  
  
:::He points out the gundam boys and gals tied up in different areas. Duo and Sally are tied up in chairs back to back with eachother. Trowa's hanging on the ceiling by his feet, Hilde's tied up and still unconscious on the coach (it's a big boat), and Relena is tied up against the fridge with Cathy.:::  
  
Une: Are you mad?  
  
Captain Winner: Tell me where the treasure is or I'll make ye walk the plank and feed ye to the sharks.  
  
Zechs: Even if I knew exactly where it was, I wouldn't tell you.  
  
Winner: Then give me th' map!  
  
Zechs: No.  
  
Heero: Zechs.  
  
Zechs: What?!  
  
Heero: *sees Zechs' frizzled hair and trying hard to keep a straight face* Give him the map.  
  
Zechs: I'm not taking orders from anybody. Not from a crazed boy wearing an eyepatch-and especially not you.  
  
Heero: If you don't tell him where the map is, then I'll have to tell everyone your secret.  
  
Zechs: What secret?  
  
Heero: You know. The one you've been hiding from everybody, including all the GW fans. Your deepest, darkest secret...  
  
Zechs: No!! You wouldn't!!  
  
Heero: Try me.  
  
Zechs: Oh alright! The map is hidden in the stuffed turkey on the third shelf of the fridge.  
  
Winner: Arrrggh! I knew ye would giv' in somehow.  
  
:::He opens the fridge, reaches into the turkey, and sure enough pulls out an old map. Cackling with glee, the crazed Quatre runs out to claim his treasure:::  
  
Duo: Well, good to see he's happy. Now quick--Sally--cut the ropes so we can get out of here!  
  
Sally: How?  
  
Duo: I don't know. Use one of your special guerrila tactics.  
  
Heero: Don't worry, I got a knife.  
  
:::He breaks free and goes to untie Trowa first:::  
  
Heero: You okay, Trowa?  
  
Trowa: *face as red as a tomato* Besides the fact that 90% of my blood has rushed to my head and everything's upside down, I'm fine.  
  
Noin: Zechs, what's your secret?  
  
Zechs: Nothing.  
  
Noin: Relena?  
  
Relena: Whatever it is, I don't know.  
  
Duo: Well, while we're on the subject of your brother I'd like to know-Zechs, what the heck happened to you?  
  
Zechs: None of your business.  
  
Duo: *snickering, trying to control himself from busting out laughing* You look like an old afghan hound a friend of mine used to have.  
  
Zechs: You shut up.  
  
Relena: *trying to change the subject* What should we do with Hilde? We can't just leave her here.  
  
Trowa: I'll take care of her.  
  
Cathy: Come on, you guys. Let's get out of here.  
  
Une: Wait! You're not going to just leave us here?  
  
Hilde: That's what we're all planning.  
  
Noin: But with Treize and Wufei out there and that crazy kid running around, you'll need all the help you can get.  
  
Sally: She's right you know.  
  
Heero: Fine.  
  
:::He quickly cuts through their ropes and the new allies make their escape, preparing themselves for the unkown obstacles ahead:::  
  
  
******************************  
And that's it for now. Next chapter will be the climax of this crazy fic. Now remember. Review, Review!!  
  
Duo: Hey Zechs! Did you hear that? Next up, it's the "mane" event. *laughs histerically*  
  
Zechs: -__- 


	9. Cash Money fo' the Record. Pinkbeard's ...

Finally! This is the last part of the fic before the conclusion. This part is kind of long, sorry about that. I don't think I have to give you a disclaimer for the ninth time. You know by now that I don't own GW or any trademarked items that I mention. I'm just a kid.  
  
Part Nine: Cash Money fo' the Record! Pinkbeard's Treasure is Found!  
  
:::After ten minutes of following a trail of Quatre tracks, the gang find Wufei and Treize. They're sitting on tree stumps staring at eachother:::  
  
Cathy: What are you guys doing?  
  
Wufei: Quiet. Treize and I are in a staring competition.  
  
Heero: You mean a staring contest?  
  
Relena: Why are you doing that?  
  
Treize: It's the only way to prove which man is the strongest.  
  
Noin: What?! We're on a deserted island with a crazed gundam pilot running around and you all you two can think of is settling an old duel?  
  
Sally: Let's just leave them here, Noin. Knowing how thick-headed Wufei is, he's not moving from that spot till that contest is over. Let's keep following those tracks.  
  
Duo: Uhhh...little problem here. The tracks stop here.  
  
Sally: Then if the tracks stop here, then where the heck is Quatre?  
  
YYYYEAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHH!!  
  
:::All of a sudden Quatre jumps down from a palm tree and pulls out a sword:::  
  
Relena: He's got a sword!  
  
Duo: Where did he get it?  
  
Une: *recognizes it as Treize's antique sword*: Let go of that, you thief!  
  
:::Une and the other g-peeps struggle to stop Quatre while trying to keep away from the sword. Sand was flying everywhere, screaming and yelling, arrgghs, and swinging of a sword, but Treize and Wufei didn't move from their spots. Lucky for Heero, he managed to get behind Quatre and hit him on the back of the head, making him collapse:::  
  
Cathy: It seems like everybody's getting knocked out today.  
  
Noin: Quick! Somebody take the map from him!  
  
Duo: Okay. Trowa, you do it.  
  
Trowa: I'm not sticking my hand in there.  
  
Duo: Neither am I.  
  
Sally: Well, don't look at me!  
  
Heero: I'll do it. *pulls out the map from Quatre's pocket*  
  
Duo: Let me see that. HHHmmm...this map looks easy to follow. How about we go look for that treasure now?  
  
Une: Yes! Let's get this over with.  
  
Duo: Alrighty. The map says to go this way 300 steps until you reach a small canyon.  
  
:::They all start walking and some time later they make it to 300. It's getting dark now:::  
  
Duo: That's funny, we should be at Miner Cliff right now.  
  
Une: Well, I don't see a cliff, all I see is---yeeeeeeeee!!!!  
  
Duo: Yeeee? What's that?  
  
Trowa: Duo, Une just fell down a cliff.  
  
Duo: Cliff? Where?--oh--there it is.  
  
Une: Heeeelp!!  
  
Heero: She isn't dead? Darn...  
  
Noin: *looks down to see Une hanging from a branch that caught hold of her uniform* Lady Une, are you okay?  
  
Une: What do you think, Lt.? Of course I'm not okay! Get me out of here now!!!  
  
Duo: Okay! Okay! Geez. Calm down. We'll need a nice vine or something.  
  
Une: Wait! I can see it!  
  
Sally: See what?  
  
Une: I can see the X that marks the spot from here! *squints her eyes* There's something else over there too..but it's too far away to see it..  
  
Cathy: Look, you guys! I see it too.  
  
Trowa *looks*: Woah...  
  
Relena: That's a big X.  
  
Zechs: Well, what are we doing standing here? Let's go get that treasure!  
  
:::They run off leaving Une by herself:::  
  
Une: Wait!! Where are you guys going?! You're not just going to leave me here are you!?  
  
*************************  
  
:::It's now nighttime and the gw people that are left have reached the location. But they stop when they see that someone beat them to it:::  
  
Relena: Who is that?  
  
Heero: I don't know. I can't see because it's so dark, but whoever they are, they found the treasure.  
  
Duo: They're pulling out the box! Let's go!  
  
Heero: No. We don't know who they are yet. It could be an enemy.  
  
Duo: But OZ is our only enemy and they're here with us.  
  
Cathy: There's some moonlight. I can see four people. One of them is kind of small, two of them are pulling out the box, and another is standing by watching. There's something else in the background...it's kind of big.  
  
Noin: *O.O* It's a mobile suit!  
  
Zechs: I know who it is. Marameida...  
  
Relena: *hears the dreaded M-word* Oh no, not her!!  
  
:::dramatic music for those shocking moments::: Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuunn!!  
  
Duo: ?? Where'd that music come from?  
  
Cathy: You mean Treize's daughter?  
  
Zechs: Yes.  
  
Cathy: How did you know?  
  
Zechs: I can see those stupid feathers on their heads from here. I have keen eyesight.  
  
Relena: Ohhh..I can't stand that little brat. She's always spoiling everything. First, she ruined my X-mas, she stalled universal peace, and now she's taking that treasure for herself.  
  
Sally: Before we go out there like a bunch of hot-headed lunatics, we should come up with a plan first and then attack. Now, Heero, what do you suggest? *no answer* Heero? Oh no, he's gone!  
  
Noin: So is Duo.  
  
Relena: We have to help them. Plan or no plan.  
  
*************  
:::The g-people caught up with Duo and Heero, but were too late to stop them from prescense:::  
  
Duo: Stop right there!  
  
Marameida: *surprised to see all of them there* Ah, it's the Braid-boy and Mr. Yuy; it's a pleasure to see you again. Those grass skirts that you're clad in are exquisite.   
  
Heero: Trust me, the pleasure's all yours.  
  
Duo: Yeah, Little Miss I'm gonna rule the world because My Daddy wanted to and i'm a spoiled little brat so everyone should listen to me even though I'm just a kindergartner with a vocablulary that's bigger than my own height. And you're not going anywhere with that treasure.  
  
Heero: Ouch. Good one, Duo.  
  
Duo: Thanks!  
  
Marameida: Actually, I've already received a Master's degree from Harvard. Nice try though.  
  
Duo: Oh.  
  
Marameida: Now if you two will excuse me, I have to get going now with my treasure and prepare for my birthday party. It will be very expensive, so I need the extra cash. I heard about the legend of Pinkbeard's treasure and came here. I'm having N'Sync and Aaron Carter perform at the party and everyone's invited--except for you of course.  
  
Trowa: Aaron Carter? You mean Nick Carter's little brother?  
  
Marameida: Why yes.  
  
Cathy: N'Sync! *squeals with delight* Can I come?!  
  
Relena: Cathy!  
  
Cathy: But I love N'Sync! @.* *drooling with hearts in her eyes* Especially Justin Timberlake...  
  
Duo: Justin Timberlake? He's gay.  
  
Cathy: You're just jealous because you know that he's much cooler than you.  
  
Duo: Cooler than me? I am Shinigami! No guy is cooler than me!  
  
Marameida: Enough! It looks like you won't allow me to leave so I'll have to get rid of you. *looks at the three men who are with her* Get rid of them. Now I will finally be rid of all who stand in my way. *grins evilly*  
  
:::Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuunnnnn!!:::  
  
Relena: We've got to find out where that music is coming from.  
  
:::The soldiers attack:  
  
Trowa: .....*attacks*  
  
Soldier 1: Yaaaaggghhh!! My eye!!! He poked my eye!  
  
Sally: He used his bangs as a weapon. How fascinating!  
  
Noin: I can do that too!  
  
Soldier 2: Yaaaaggghhhh!!  
  
Noin: ^__^  
  
:::Soldier 3 chickens out and escapes in the mobile suit:::  
  
Zechs: It looks like the treasure's ours.  
  
Marameida: Curses.  
  
Une: Your father will be very upset when he finds out about what you tried to do, young lady.  
  
Marameida: Father is dead!  
  
Relena: No, he's very much alive unfortunately. He's on the island somewhere.  
  
Marameida: *tears form in her eyes* ...daddy...  
  
Duo: Okay, enough with the mush! Let's open that treasure box!  
  
:::He and Heero break the lock and fling the box wide open:::  
  
Duo: *jaw drops* What!! IT'S EMPTY!!!  
  
Noin: It's empty?!  
  
Cathy: You mean we went through all this for nothing?  
  
Zechs: *faints*  
  
Marameida: No treasure? But who took it?  
  
Trowa: I guess someone else beat us to it.  
  
Duo: *floodcries* WAAAAAHHHHH!! All my dreams! Ruined!  
  
Relena: It's okay Duo. This just teaches us all an important lesson-  
  
Duo: No Brittany Spears! No mansion! No BMW! Waaaaaaahhhh...  
  
Relena: -that greed can make a person do crazy things and that money truly can ruin you. We should all remember that there are other things to be thankful for.  
  
Noin: Like what?  
  
Trowa: For extra strength hairspray?  
  
Sally: For Miracle bras?  
  
Relena: No! That we're still alive and well. The sun is coming up now and this contest is pretty much over. We all survived together; we should all be thankful for that.  
  
Duo: And you believe all that crap?  
  
Relena: Why, yes.  
  
Duo: Figures...  
  
Heero: *looks up at the sky* There's something coming.  
  
:::Everyone looks up to see something floating down:::  
  
Noin: It's a bird.  
  
Cathy: It's a plane!  
  
Duo: It's Superman!!  
  
Heero: Actually it's Dfire in a parachute.  
  
Duo: I knew that.  
  
Sally: It's over! This stupid contest is finally over!!  
  
Dfire: Hello peoples! ^__^  
  
Duo: Hey! Why didn't you "poof" here like last time?  
  
Dfire: I wanted to make a bigger entrance. So, how are all my survivors doing?  
  
Heero: I'm so happy to see you, that I don't know if I should hug you or strangle you for putting me on this cursed island!  
  
Dfire: Well, that's nice to hear. I guess nows the time to decide which team wins.  
  
Relena: But not everybody is here.  
  
Dfire: I'll fix that. *snaps fingers and Dorothy, Quatre, Hilde, and Wufei still staring at Treize "poof" into the scene*  
  
Wufei: Oh darn! Both Treize and I just blinked at the same time! Thanks a lot Dfire.  
  
Quatre: *wakes up* Where am I?  
  
Hilde: *wakes up* What the heck happened?  
  
Dorothy: The treasure is gone! Where is it?  
  
Dfire: And now, people of Gundam Wing, now's the time for the moment of truth! Now is the time to decide who wins the grand prize!  
  
G-people: Alright!!  
  
Dfire: *to the audience* And now fanfic readers, this is where you take part. Now is the time to cast in your votes. It's your job to decide which team wins. All you have to do is either send me an e-mail or send in a review with your vote. Here are the choices:  
  
1.The Boys   
  
2.The Girls  
  
3.Both  
  
4.None, send the money to a charity!  
  
Also, if you have just a few more seconds of free time, tell me why you made your decision.  
  
Remember: Only one vote per capita. That's one person can vote only once. If you try voting twice, I won't count it in. Do vote (review!) or I won't post the next part, how can I put a winner if no one votes?  
  
**********  
Thanks so much for reading my fic!! I hope you enjoyed it because I did. Whew! My fingers are worn out from all the typing. And turn in those votes quick so the g-peeps can get off this island.  
  
Duo: Yes, please!!  
  
Dorothy: We're gonna win!  
  
Wufei: No! We are!  
  
Sally: No! Us! 


	10. May I have the envelope, please?

:( Well, this is it. The end of the survival contest. I got the last part up finally! I graduated, my grandparents came over, and all this other stuff kept me away from working on this fic. I'm glad you enjoyed it.  
  
Disclaimer Thingy: Let's see...I don't own FedEx, Dell, UPS, or Gundam Wing.  
  
The GW Survival Contest  
Part Ten: May I have the envelope, please?  
  
:::On tiny Bear Island, the GW cast and I are waiting patiently for the votes to come in. Quatre and Trowa are playing a friendly game of tic-tac-toe in the sand; Duo, Relena, and Hilde are teaching themselves how to do the hula; and Wufei is calmly meditating. The rest are either chatting or plotting my demise.:::  
  
Dfire: *checks her watch* Any minute now...  
  
Zechs: That's what you said half an hour ago.  
  
Dfire: Well, you can't rush the postal service. UPS ain't speed mail ya know.  
  
Heero: When do we get our stuff back?  
  
Dfire: After the UPS man gets here. He has all of you guys' stuff: Trowa's Super X-tra Strength Hairspray, a crapload of guns, Cathy's knives, Heero's laptop, Wufei's katana..  
  
Wufei: *opens one eye still in meditation pose* You stupid woman! You left my precious katana in the hands of such evil?  
  
Dfire: What the heck are you talking about?  
  
Wufei: FedEx is the service of justice, not UPS.  
  
Hilde: Don't you know what UPS stands for? U piece of sh--  
  
Dfire: Oh, you two shut up! Keep on with your meditating and hula dancing! This is the last part of my fic and I don't need any bashing of postal services and cussing right now. I need to keep that G rating, plus I don't want men dressed in brown uniforms to come after me.  
  
:::Wufei and Hilde return to what they were doing and I went to wait by a palm tree. Finally, ten minutes later, a brown plane flies above the island:::  
  
Dfire: There it is! The UPS plane!  
  
Une: I didn't even know there was such a thing.  
  
Dfire: They're a little late but that's okay. I also had them bring some extra clothes for all of you.  
  
Duo: Thanks, girl. I'm getting tired of wearing this grass skirt. It makes me itch.  
  
Treize: *peering up at the plane* Are they going to land here?  
  
Noin: Yeah, how are they going to bring everything down here? Are they going to have someone jump down here in a parachute?  
  
Dfire: Err, they said that landing the plane on a tropical/forest island would be difficult so they're planning on sending the cargo down here from the plane.  
  
Trowa: You mean they're just going to dump our stuff from up there?!!  
  
Dfire: Don't panic you guys, I paid good money. They should handle your stuff with care...as if it were glass.  
  
:::As if on cue, a large bundle is thrown off the plane and tumbles down toward us. The plane flies away:::  
  
Quatre: Eeek! It's heading straight for us!  
  
Zechs: Everybody move back!  
  
:::A big box and bag tied onto it land harshly on the sandy beach. From inside, we could easily hear something shatter.:::  
  
Sally: As if it were glass, eh Dfire?  
  
Dfire: Oops...uh...I'm sure they're fine. *nervous laugh* I'm sure nothing broke.  
  
Duo: Geez, that didn't sound good when it landed. What was that?  
  
Trowa: It sounded like a laptop.  
  
Heero: WHAT?!  
  
:::Everyone races to the luggage and digs through the box pulling out stuff. Heero pulls out a big chunk of smashed glass and plastics:::  
  
Duo: Oh man, Heero. That's your laptop.  
  
Cathy: Or at least what's left of it.  
  
Heero: That was my new Dell you *#$@%!!  
  
Relena: *searching through the box* Well, I don't think anything else is broken.  
  
Wufei: Aaaahhh!!!  
  
Relena: Guess not.  
  
Wufei: My katana!!! It's been broken in two!!  
  
Dfire: It's okay Wufei, it's not so bad. Now you got two katanas.  
  
Wufei *face turning red with anger* Prepare to die, ONNA!!  
  
Dfire: AAAAAHHHHHH!! *I duck as the Chinese boy lunges at me with his broken sword. Then he does a kung fu Mortal Kombat move on me, but I barely escape* Wait!! Wait!! If you kill me we'll never know who won--and no one will get prize money!  
  
Sally: Calm down, Wufei. Let's let her finish her job. The sooner she's done, the sooner we can go home.  
  
Wufei: Okay. But you die as soon as you're done.  
  
Dfire: *nervously pulls out an envelope from the bag* Alright. Here are the results. Drumroll please...  
  
::::Drums rumble from an unknown source:::  
  
Dfire: We got one vote for the guys, one vote for...Lady Une?!  
  
Une: A wise person indeed.  
  
Dfire: Three votes for: nobody wins.  
  
G-boys and g-gals: O.o  
  
Wufei: The injustice!!  
  
Dfire: And the winner of my GW Survival Contest....O.O Both teams!!  
  
G-boys and g-gals: Yaaahhhoooooo!!!  
  
Sally: Wait?!  
  
Wufei: Injustice!! The nerve of these people. How did we both win? It was clear that us men won.  
  
Sally: *raises eyebrow* Men?  
  
Hilde: I thought we beat you.  
  
Wufei: We went through a lot more and still survived. We had to wear these stupid grasskirts.  
  
Hilde: We had to eat squirrel-kabobs! A freakin' tree rodent on a stick!  
  
Wufei: We had to listen to Yuy's stupid ghost stories and Winner's wimperings of abuse to animals.  
  
Dfire: Listen! Both of you guys suff--er, I mean, went through a lot on this trip. I think it's fair that both teams win.  
  
Relena: So do I. Now that we know we all won lets get out of here.  
  
Duo: Not without my money.  
  
Dorothy: Well, I hope your satisfied, Dfire. We suffered for your dear fanfic readers' pleasure.  
  
Dfire: *looking innocent* Suffered?  
  
Cathy: Do you have any idea what we've been through?  
  
Dfire: Actually, yes I do.  
  
Heero: We were attacked by a skunk, we had to dress like fags, we were chased by a mad pirateboy, we were bombarded by coconuts.  
  
Relena: My hair was set on fire and Dorothy went crazy.  
  
Dfire: I know exactly what happened to you. I saw the whole thing. On this island, I put about fifty different hidden cameras before you arrived.  
  
OZ, G-boys and g-girls: Gaaahhh!!  
  
Dorothy: You mean you had us on camera the whole time!??!!  
  
Zechs: And with my hair looking like this?  
  
Dfire: Yes. ^__^ *whips out a VHS cassette* And I have it all on tape for everyone to enjoy.  
  
Quatre: You---you evil thing!  
  
Wufei: She's crazy.  
  
Cathy: She's mad!  
  
Marameia: She's good. I need to learn from her.  
  
Duo: Injustice!!  
  
Wufei: That's my line, Maxwell.  
  
Duo: Sorry, Wu-man.  
  
Wufei: -__-  
  
Dfire: Yup. From the time you were paddling your way to the island and up until my arrival today, I've been taping you guys 24/7. I think this will get me some fame in the next anime convention.  
  
:::Heero quickly grabs the tape from my hands, throws it into the air, and with his reunited gun shoots it into a million pieces:::  
  
Sally: Good Heero, destroy the evidence.  
  
Dfire: That's okay. I've got two thousand copies back at my house.  
  
Heero: *points his gun at me* I will kill you now.  
  
Dfire: *floodcrying* Please don't kill me! I just graduated a few days ago. If you kill me I'll never get to go to college, I'll never have a job, I'll never get married!  
  
Heero: You should have thought of that before you smashed my computer and made my life miserable...say goodbye.  
  
Relena: Wait!!  
  
Heero: Da*% it, Relena! Don't interrupt me this time.  
  
Relena: But we need her to get us off this island.  
  
Wufei: And she still hasn't given us our money yet.  
  
Heero: Fine. But hurry up.  
  
Dfire: *pulls out a giant check from fanfic space bigger than the ones people win in sweepstakes* That'll be 2,500 for each of you.  
  
Hilde: *stares at the check I gave her* What?! Only 2,500!?  
  
Dfire: That's what I said. *grunting as I pull out another jumbo-sized check* If you don't want it, I'll have it.  
  
Cathy: *awkwardly carrying her giant check* Did you know that there was treasure on this island?  
  
Dfire: Nope, I didn't. Did you guys find it?  
  
Treize: No, but we all tried to.  
  
Une: And we would have had it if someone else hadn't got to it first.  
  
Trowa: *watches as I reach into my jeans pocket and pull out his giant check* Where are those coming from?  
  
Quatre: Um, Dfire?  
  
Dfire: Yes, Quatre?  
  
Quatre: How do we get back home?  
  
Dfire: I don't see the boat that I hired someone to bring, so I guess you'll just have to figure it out.   
  
Wufei: How are you getting back?  
  
Dfire: My jet ski of course.  
  
Wufei: And where is your jet ski? I don't see one.  
  
Dfire: It's right here with me of course. *poof!* There it is. Ain't she a beaut?  
  
Noin: Did she just make that jet ski just poof out of nowhere?  
  
Relena: You'll get used to it.   
  
Dfire: *starts to leave but turns back* Oh, I almost forgot!  
  
GW Peeps: WHAT!?!?!  
  
Dfire: Before you go, I have one more thing that you have to do for me and all the readers out there.  
  
Sally: And what is that? -__-  
  
Dfire: The winners are supposed to do a special performance for us. Did I forget to mention that?  
  
Duo: Yes, you did. And I'm not doing it.  
  
Dorothy: Neither will I.  
  
Dfire: You have to.  
  
Duo: Why?  
  
Dfire: Because...um...  
  
Duo: Because...?  
  
Dfire: Because if you guys don't then I'll make a sequel to this fic.  
  
Everyone: What do we have to do?  
  
Dfire: *grinning menacingly, and pulls out a fur miniskirt* Which one of you is a size six?  
  
**************************A little later*********  
  
:::A shot of the beautiful tropical island and all it's glory. Then the camera zooms in on the gundam boys and girls, all dressed in skimpy fur outfits.:::  
  
Wufei: Of all the evil injustice you've bestowed upon us, this has got to be the worst! I'm dressed like a woman!  
  
Quatre: Does this skirt make me look fat?  
  
Dfire: You guys are supposed to be singing. Now sing and look sexy for the audience!  
  
*Quatre and Sally pose in front of the waterfall with their skimpy fur outfits, Sally lets the water drip down her when Quatre slips on a rock and knocks her down*  
  
I'm a survivor, I'm not gonna give up,  
  
*Wufei, Dorothy, and Trowa raise their voices high in chorus their shrill voices almost breaking my eardrums*  
  
I'm not gonna stop, I'm gonna work harder.  
  
:::Just imagine the Gundam peeps in Destiny's Child Survivor video and you get the idea:::  
  
Dfire: STOP!! EVERYONE STOP!!!  
  
Hilde: But we were just getting to the good part.  
  
Dfire: Uh, no. I've decided that just a part of the song is good enough for the finale of the fic.   
  
Duo: I didn't know Wufei's voice could get so high.  
  
Quatre: I didn't know I looked so good in leopard print.  
  
Sally: Still we have a problem. How do we got off this island?  
  
Dfire: Well, you guys can use your checks to float on and paddle your way back.  
  
Heero: *rips off tanktop and points gun at me* I'm not doing that again. You're finished.  
  
Cathy: Let's get her! *pulls out her knives*  
  
Dfire: O.O uh oh... *frantically runs away from the shower of knives with the gundam people running after her*   
----------------------------------------------  
  
Dfire: Well that wraps it up. Thank you to all those who reviewed and voted. I hope all of you enjoyed this fic. It was a crazy yet fun trip while it lasted, but I'm sure the Gundam Wing people are happy it's over. I bid you adieu. *bows*  
  
Dfire: You're probably still wondering what happened to Pinkbeard's treasure. I guess no one will ever know.  
  
*turns and walks away, as two sixteenth-century gold coins and a diamond necklace fall from her pants* 


End file.
